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Will Murray (Willscrlt)

I design, develop, draw, learn, network, paint, play, program, study, write; I enjoy the arts, computers, diverse cultures, engineering, family, science, travel

Drug use during pregnancy: Drugs and Pregnancy?

If you have not already done so, it’s a good idea to read the introduction to this discussion first.

Nicole Zolty started this conversation on May 6, 2008 4:36 PM (CC-BY-SA-3.0-US Licensed; read more info):

I do think a mother has an ethical obligation to avoid drug use during pregnancy. That said I should also state that I am completely pro-choice. I feel it should be a woman’s decision whether or not she plans to carry a pregnancy to term or if she plans to terminate it. However I strongly feel that if she decides to carry the pregnancy to term she DOES have a responsibility to offer that child the best start possible. Choosing to do drugs is clearly wrong in my eyes.

Punishment is a tricky question. How would that be enforced? Mandatory drug testing of all pregnant woman? I feel that the government already is a bit too much in our personal business, and that having to submit to drug testing simply because I am pregnant would be a HUGE violation of my rights. If mandatory testing were to become a reality I think we would see a rise in the numbers of woman who choose to use midwives and plan home births.

Furthermore, punishment in my opinion would make woman who were struggling with drug addiction even less likely to seek help for fear of repercussions.
I do understand how many feel that punishment would lower the amount of woman who choose to abuse drugs during their pregnancies, but honestly I don’t think the threat of punishment would stop anyone. The threat of punishment generally makes people just work harder at hiding things so they do not face the consequences.

More education and support groups might help. I assume most mothers who are struggling with a drug addiction during a pregnancy feel a sense of shame, so maybe support groups that offer the woman the option to remain anonymous would be helpful.

Hope I have not offended any with my thoughts.

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Drug use during pregnancy: Necessary Obligation

If you have not already done so, it’s a good idea to read the introduction to this discussion first.

An ultrasound image of a baby inside the wombThe anonymous student who started this thread has not given me permission to reprint his words here.

He feels that, although difficult to overcome an addiction, a mother is obligated to all parties involved to stop using drugs while pregnant. Once pregnant, he is concerned that the woman endangers the life of her child, too. While this has similarities to the abortion debate, he sees an important distinction: drugs are illegal and abortion is a woman’s right under current court rulings; drugs are unhealthy and a bad habit, whereas abortion is a personal choice. In his opinion, by not choosing to stop using drugs, the woman shows how little she thinks of the baby and how it will be affected as a result of the drug use. He feels that women who refuse to stop taking drugs or are unable to do so during pregnancy should be penalized since illicit drug use is a crime and hurts the child.

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Drug use during pregnancy: Introduction

What should be done about a pregnant woman using drugs like this woman is?I am currently taking a course in Contemporary Women’s Health from Cuesta College. In each unit of the course, we are given a topic to discuss. Previous questions focused on the progress women have made toward equality, how the traditional family unit has changed over time, and whether current standards of beauty are realistic. This week’s discussion was much more controversial:

Does a woman have a responsibility and ethical obligation to avoid drug use during pregnancy? If she does use drugs during pregnancy, should there be punishment for endangering the baby? What are the rights of the mother and the baby?

Obviously, this question threads a thin line between the “Pro-Choice” and “Pro-Life” debate. That, however, is not the only politically charged topic. We also touched on mandatory drug testing of pregnant women, reporting of results to the government, and surgical sterilization for women who use drugs. The question of whose rights were more important, the mother’s or the child’s, was raised. Various suggestions for ways of prosecuting women found to be using drugs was discussed, as well as treatments that might work.

In all, it was a very fascinating topic to discuss, and everyone remained civil and focused on debating the issue, not attacking each other. Hopefully anyone who chooses to comment here on this blog will do the same!
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It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Summary

“The beautiful and thin” are not the only women “valued and loved” by our society, at least that was the conclusion after a week of discussion in my Women’s Health class. Most people felt that appearances did make a difference in how people were perceived and accepted, but not in whether they were able to find love and acceptance. Appearance, good personal hygiene, and a modicum of fashion sense were important for initially attracting attention, but may not be critical to maintaining a relationship. Read more after the jump.

It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Beauty is as beauty does (Responses, Part 2)

Sean_Cassidy2Nicole had some very interesting observations and thoughts in response to my earlier post on the Annie Lennox song, “It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful” in our ongoing class discussion. This interesting and illuminating discussion about women and self-image includes what it is like for a woman to date both average looking and almost perfect looking men and how boyfriends’ attitudes and words can ruin a relationship when they let weight become an ultimatum. It concludes with some insights on parenting. Enjoy!

Written by Nicole Zolty on April 24, 2008 10:47 PM (CC-BY-SA Licensed):

I appreciate your post Will. I agree with you that inner beauty is always more than outward. With inner beauty often comes confidence which I find extremely attractive. Confidence in oneself exudes off of people and draws you to them.

Many people cannot see past appearances though which is so sad. I have been in relationships with people in “perfect” shape and also with the average person.

And one relationship was not better than the other because of how they looked, people are just people, the packaging just varies.

I am thin, and I have had two men that I have dated inform me that I needed to stay thin if they were going to stay with me. One even went as far as to give me a weight limit that I needed to stay in for him to stay with me. Needless to say they were gone quickly after that, but what amazed me is that some people are so hung up on thinness that they feel it is acceptable to make such stipulations on another. Not to mention I lost all respect for them. Woman whether heavy or thin want to be valued for WHO they are, not how they look.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but those two men are such losers! I’m happy that you had a strong enough self-image to see that and to leave the relationships rather than trying to meet an unrealistic mandate.

That was an interesting insight about the “perfect” people and the average person being no better or worse. It makes sense on an intellectual level, yet it is somehow reassuring to hear someone say that.

I am curious if you felt or were treated any differently when you were with “perfect” or “average” people. I can imagine several different scenarios. First, when you were with Mr. Perfect, you might have been looked down upon for not being so perfect (though it sounds like you might have just fit in fine). You might have felt a bit better about yourself in the company of a “perfect” man (“Look at who I scored, girls!”). You might have been treated better when with Mr. Average, because maybe you looked better than he did. Did you feel as respected by others when with Mr. Average compared to when you were with Mr. Perfect.

Basically I’m wondering if your partner’s looks had any spill-over, positive or negative, onto you.

Thank you for your comments.

—Will

Read More »It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Beauty is as beauty does (Responses, Part 2)

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It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Beauty is as beauty does (Responses, Part 1)

A beautiful woman from TurkeyMy original thoughts on the Annie Lennox song, “It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful” in our ongoing class discussion launched the most discussed message thread for the activity. It was an interesting and illuminating discussion about women and self-image. It also discusses ideas about the physical ideal, fantasy ideal, romantic ideal, and how they all play a part in attracting and keeping men’s interest. Enjoy!

Written by Kellie Burns on April 24, 2008 10:46 PM (CC-BY-SA Licensed):

Will,

I think that you and Michael are both correct. Appearance and a great attitude are both attractive to me. I enjoy spending time with a people who have a great personality. Women with high self-esteem are hot! On the other hand, I find women who are a healthy weight (not skinny), clear skin, well-dressed, neatly trimmed hair, tan, and a “nice” breast size attractive.

It is to my understanding that all men have a need to “relieve” themselves through-out the week. (I know I’m treading thin waters, and I don’t want to cross the netiquette line. I still wanted to bring up the topic, though, because I felt it could be relevant.) Honestly, if I were a male and had the need to visit websites to release tension, I wouldn’t look for a site with women with mustaches and/or unibrows. I think that I may find a site with the stereotypical woman to carry out my fantasy. If I were a male, I would probably look at beautiful women as they passed me downtown. I would notice thin, well-groomed, well-dressed women more than I noticed the woman in plain, baggy clothes that hasn’t had a hair cut in 12 months, and is overweight.

On the contrary, as a woman, I feel intimidated by women in little clothes and “booming” bodies. I don’t understand why I feel so uncomfortable around them. I know that I am strong, smart, and pretty. Somehow, these women are still capable of making me feel inadequate.

I do wonder if everyone has something about their body that they would like to be different. I have a hard time believing that there is someone out there that is completely excited about every single physical aspect of their body. I think that some people have just learned to accept themselves for who they are, and in turn, they focus on more fun things in life. That doesn’t mean that they are completely satisfied with what they were dealt in physical traits. It just means that they believe that there are more important things in life than obsessive calorie counting.

Wow. Thank you for the great and thought provoking reply.

I agree with you that it is unlikely that most men would actively seek out overweight, neglectful, or even frumpy women to help “release tension” (though the term chubby chasers was invented for a reason). I think there is a difference between a “fantasy ideal” and a “relationship ideal”.

Read More »It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Beauty is as beauty does (Responses, Part 1)

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It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: The beautiful and the thin

Tracy Mitchell weighs in with her opinion on discrimination (or lack thereof) of women who are not skinny and beautiful. She also provides some interesting background information on the song “It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful.” I respond and also mention similar themes in the musical Thoroughly Modern Millie.

It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful: Beauty is as beauty does

Annie Lennox, Eurythmics, Drammenshallen, Norway, October 6th 1986My latest class assignment is to read the words of the song, “It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful” popularized by Annie Lennox in the 1990s. We are then to discuss if we agree or disagree with the statement:

“Only the beautiful and thin are valued and loved. The non-skinny or non-pretty woman does not fit in and will face discrimination, stereotypes, and fewer social relationships. The pressure to achieve the ‘ideal’ is so strong we do not question the implications behind teaching young women how to be perfect and loved.”

It’s Your Duty to Be Beautiful

Keep young and beautiful. It’s your duty to be beautiful.
Keep young and beautiful, If you want to be loved.
Don’t fail to do your stuff With a little powder and a puff.
Keep young and beautiful, If you want to be loved.

It you’re wise, exercise all the fat off. Take if off over here, over there.
When you’re seen anywhere with your hat off, Wear a Marcelled wave in your hair.
Take care of all those charms, And you’ll always be in someone’s arms.
Keep young and beautiful, If you want to be loved.

—Al Dubin and Harry Warren, Keep Young and Beautiful [Recorded by Annie Lennox], on Dive [CD], New York: RCA, 1992.

As much as I would love to say that the song is totally wrong, I can’t. For some people (not me) skinny, perfectly made up, ultra enhanced and mostly unrealistic beauty IS the epitome of beauty. To those people, this song is an accurate portrayal of beauty and the challenges needed to meet it.

That being said, I tend to buck convention, and what is inside is far more important than the exterior. Whether the person is skinny, obese, or anywhere in between… has a unibrow or perfectly plucked and curved eyebrows… a beauty spot or a hairy mole… what the person does, how they live their life, how they treat the lowest of their fellow man is far more important — and beautiful to me.

I would much rather marry someone who is overweight and happy than one who is the picture of perfection and miserable trying to stay that way.
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How the ‘traditonal family’ unit has changed into the ‘current family’ unit

A diverse 'current family' unitTraditionally, families have been groups of related people living together. In such family groups, the able-bodied young to middle-aged adults generally provided a supportive and nurturing environment for the infants, children, and elderly family members. Families often lived in community groups, and the male adults (fathers and teen males) would provide sustenance for the families through hunting, fishing, or farming activities. The younger adult women (mothers and teen females) would care for the youngest family members, clean, cook, tend the livestock, and otherwise “keep house”. The elderly women would often teach the young girls and boys the history of the family and other things that children needed to know as they journeyed into adulthood. Elderly men would usually sit around, discussing matters of great importance among themselves, as well as offering unsolicited advice to the rest of the family.

From this early family paradigm, we can see where much of the stereotypical family elements of a “traditional family” of the 1950s developed.Read More »How the ‘traditonal family’ unit has changed into the ‘current family’ unit

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A little Irish pride taking on Scoble and Calacanis on Twitter

Paul Walsh, an Irish entrepreneur, wants more visibility. He’s creating buzz by giving away a Mac Air to people who follow his wubud account on Twitter. Will he climb to the pinnacles of online greatness like his IT blogging rivals Robert Scoble and Jason Calacanis?

Conclusion: Two centuries of progress with more to go

Equal rights for everybody!At the conclusion of the week-long discussion concerning inequality between women and men, we were to write a summary of the discussions and replies along with our conclusions. Here is my wrap-up…
Read More »Conclusion: Two centuries of progress with more to go

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Reply: Two centuries of progress with more to go

Two nurses with baby in nursery at Toronto East General and Orthopaedic Hospital, Toronto, ONOne of the students on my Women’s Health class responded to my earlier post concerning inequality between women and men. She commented that she worked in a medical practice where inequality did not seem to be present. She asked me if I was interested in a career in medicine. She also asked me to further explain what I meant about doctors sometimes under-medicating women because they thought that the women’s complaints were just in their head. Here is my response…
Read More »Reply: Two centuries of progress with more to go

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Two centuries of progress with more to go

Suffrage parade, New York City, May 6, 1912

I am currently taking a course in Contemporary Women’s Health as the final requirement to earn my Associates Degree. One of the class discussions concerned inequality between women and men today. We were to answer whether or not we felt that there was any and if it could be changed or if it was a natural part of society. Here is my response…

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Twitter Updates for 2008-04-07

So… It’s another Monday. Whoop-de-doo. :-/ # Since I was up early, made breakfast in bed for the whole family. It was a fun surprise!… Read More »Twitter Updates for 2008-04-07

‘Millennials’ buck IT security policies

Today, SearchCIO.com released an article titled ‘Millennials’ buck IT security policies by Linda Tucci, Senior News Writer
Two things. First, DUH! 🙂 Second, what’s the big deal? I’m not a Millennial, though I share a lot of traits with them. I co-own a business and manage its IT security. These changes don’t scare me, and I’ll tell you why…

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